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More #Massdebating

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David Cameron and Nick Clegg being absent, it was left to Ed Miliband to adopt a superior, "look-everyone-I'm-the-most-important-person-here" air at this frankly B team debate. The effect was that of a supply teacher who had been told, five minutes before the primary school assembly, that the head was on holiday and so he could read out the notices about one of the Year 1 pupils not flushing the toilet properly instead.

Nicola Sturgeon looked terrific in a slate grey silk suit; Ed wore a tie that matched it. Leanne Wood smiled radiantly in a sharply-tailored raspberry jacket over a pale pink dress, Farage wore a tie that matched her ensemble. The four of them looked unnervingly like the bride and groom's parents. Natalie Bennett, in dull beige, completed the wedding picture of doom by looking like the bridesmaid who didn't give a shit and was just waiting for the speeches to finish so she could go outside for a fag. (Note to self: start fashion blog.)

Blah, blah deficit, blah blah Cameron a disgrace for not turning up (applause), blah blah don't quote the IFS at me, blah blah Cameron a disgrace again (no applause). Nobody mentioned Nick Clegg. How quickly we forget, eh?

There was a question about housing. "As a single parent, I'd like to know about your plans for social housing, and to tackle the housing crisis?" Nicola said the Tory plan to sell off housing association homes was one of the worst ideas she has heard. "Housing is one of the most important issues of this election." Leanne said that council house sales aren't allowed in Wales. Ed equivocated somewhat, saying Labour supported the right to buy, but Tory plans didn't add up. Farage declared, jaw-droppingly, that "we should make sure that all new social housing is for UK nationals only" and added that he wanted to create a "brownfield sites register." The possibility that he'd like to create a brown builders register to go with it went unsaid.

Nige was on a roll, telling the audience it was biased and anyway, the "real" audience was at home. Dimbleby looked outraged, but Nige shrugged and declared that anyway, the audience didn't understand markets and that immigration contributed to the housing crisis. Everybody else on the panel looked at each other with "spot the loon" expressions.

Ed decided it was time he asserted his authority, inexplicably choosing to do this by adopting the world-weary tone and demeanour of a bored father home late from work, desperate to put his feet up and knock back a large gin and tonic but instead forced by his children to officiate at the burial of the family spaniel. "I believe.... that....you...cannot...buck... the... market...zzzzzz."

What would it take to liven things up? A question about immigration, of course: "Are immigrants putting too much pressure on public services?" Nige looked like all his birthdays had come at once. The studio audience, however, looked like they were sat in the dock at the Old Bailey and had just been sentence to life imprisonment:

Suddenly they all woke up and started shouting at each other about the NHS. "You're lying!" yelled Nigel to Ed. "Be quiet all of you!" yelped Dimbers. "Natalie?" "Yes, I think it was probably my turn," she replied, primly.

Finally, a question about a hung parliament. Nige banged on about Europe. "My view is we should be self-confident, and if UKIP is in a position of influence, we should have a referendum." There was more in this vein, but I'm afraid I tuned out. More shouting. "I will never, ever do a deal with the Tories," declared Nicola, looking straight at Ed and practically asking him out on a date. Ed looked underwhelmed. "We've got very different views, Nicola." It's not you, it's me. Let us unfollow one another on Twitter and never speak of this again.

Leanne couldn't remember what her party wanted and read from her notes. "I will not prop up a Tory government." Okay, got it. "But I won't prop up a Labour government hell-bent on implemented Tory policies." Er? Who will you prop up then? Natalie, determined not to be left out, delivered her party line. "I will not prop up a Tory government." Back home in Downing Street, David choked on his whisky and soda and turned plaintively to Sam: "Why doesn't anybody like me?"

Was that it? No, there was more. "I've fought Tories all my life," shouted Ed, weirdly. "This is 2015!" yelped Nicola, refusing to give up. "We've got a CHANCE!"

Finally, the end was in sight. "I'll fight for the little man," declared Nige. "And, er, woman." Ed stared straight into the camera and addressed Dave. "Debate me. One on one." This bold suggestion was undermined somewhat by Dimbers then telling everyone that in two weeks' time there would be an edition of Question Time with Ed, Nick AND Dave. Whoopee.

First published here

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Newzoids: Can Any ITV Satire Exorcise the Spectre of Spitting Image?

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Newzoids debuted on ITV on Wednesday 15 April and brought with it the return of puppetry to our screens. In place of latex, Newzoids has marionettes, kind of satirical Thunderbirds, albeit with additional sophisticated animation from co-producers, Factory. Along with Citrus Television, who co-produced the award winning Horrible Histories, they've created something with the familiar irreverence of the CBBC show.

It opens with a short skit featuring a not quite convincing Russell Brand as the first in a series of Top Gear auditions. The Ant and Dec impressions are spot on however, as is Ed Miliband's bumbling Jungle contestant. Voiced by Jon Culshaw, Debra Stephenson, Lewis Macleod and Simon Greenall, by and large the impersonations hit the mark.

A highlight for me was Nigel Farage as a stand-up comic in a working men's club, with suitably witty hecklers throwing in good one-liners; quite prescient after seeing his performance on the BBC debate on Thursday. And baby Prince George as a chav, sounding like a cross between Philip Glennister and Ray Winstone was a hoot although it's hard to see where else the show can go with a gag like that. This came as part of a running joke in the form of Mrs. Crown's Boys, with the Royals aping the popular and divisive sitcom. The target of the satire seemed to be aimed squarely at the show rather than the Royals to me but it has legs, at least for this series.

The Broadchurch sketch missed a trick in not satirising the show at all and instead favouring an obvious Doctor Who joke, but the crying Olivia Coleman puppet was funny.

The burning question that always rears its head is, 'is it as good as Spitting Image?' This is the problem that every satirical show on ITV faces. Spitting Image was such a winning formula that its shadow hangs over any attempt by show makers to produce something with the same potency. Newzoids was funny in places, but it lacked teeth. This could also be said of Spitting Image when it started.

In the early days of Spitting Image it came close to being cancelled, until Red Dwarf writers, Rob Grant and Doug Naylor were brought in to save the falling ratings.

Newzoids has a mix of established and new writers including Spitting Image's own Pete Sinclair and Tom Neenan, who started writing for the open door radio show Newsjack. It has the potential to be a great show, I only hope in today's cut-throat business it is given the chance to learn from its mistakes.

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James Corden Makes His Catwalk Debut At Burberry's Los Angeles Fashion Show (PICS)

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When Naomi Campbell gave James Corden a lesson in catwalk etiquette, we didn’t realise he’d be making his runway debut quite so soon.

Regardless, fashion-lovers Burberry’s LA showcase got a surprise on Thursday night, when the brand roped in the ‘Late, Late Show’ host to provide the show’s grand finale.

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Werrrrrrrrrrrrrk!


True to form, James proved he’s up for anything, and sported one of the brand’s iconic scarves for his strut down the runway.

As the presenter sashayed along, Naomi looked on like a proud parent. And laughed her head off with Jourdan Dunne.

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No, the Grenadier Guards' uniforms aren't made by Burberry


Plenty of James’s showbiz pals were in attendance to cheer him on, including the Beckhams, who brought all of their kids along to the event.

Since relocating across the pond, James has been a huge hit with fans and critics alike.

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The Beckhams and Anna Wintour sat front row with James's wife Julia


His ‘Late, Late Show’ has featured a number of superstar guests - including Naomi, Mila Kunis and Jennifer Hudson to name a few - and plenty of his skits have gone viral online.

Most recently, James staged an um, interesting reenactment of that ‘Basic Instinct’ scene. It really has to be seen to be believed.



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Why Is it That Indie Author Panels Always Discuss Selling, Instead of Writing?

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A curious thing happened to me at the London Book Fair.

As an Indie author, my first stop was the various Indie author panels. Held at Author HQ, as the space was called, here, Indie authors spoke about how their books went straight to No.1 or No.3 on the Amazon bestseller lists.

How important it was to invest in a publicist. How you should keep tweaking your novel--the cover, the synopsis, and the Amazon keywords--to drive sales.

How you shouldn't hold back from investing behind your author brand and how you need to move on very quickly to the next book.

Perhaps it's my marketing background, where I marketed and built media brands for a living. Or perhaps it's because, having been on the Indie author circuit for a few years now, I have heard similar conversations. Whatever the reason I found my attention wandering. So, I walked across to the other side of the building to the PEN Literary Salon, where authors were being interviewed.

The first session I attended featured Mexican author Valeria Luiselli. She spoke about here new book Story of My Teeth.

In this the protagonist Gustavo 'Highway' Sanchez is a man with a mission: he is planning to replace every last one of his unsightly teeth. He has a few skills that might help him on his way: he can imitate Janis Joplin after two rums, he can interpret Chinese fortune cookies, he can stand an egg upright on a table, and he can float on his back. And, of course, he is the world's best auction caller - although other people might not realise this, because he is, by nature, very discreet. Studying auctioneering under Grandmaster Oklahoma and the famous country singer Leroy Van Dyke, Highway travels the world, amassing his collection of 'Collectibles' and perfecting his own specialty: the allegoric auction. In his quest for a perfect set of pearly whites, he finds unusual ways to raise the funds, culminating in the sale of the jewels of his collection: the teeth of the 'notorious infamous' - Plato, Petrarch, Chesterton, Virginia Woolf et al. I was hooked.

What a cool and very different story. I also came away with some very interesting one-liners: "How the teeth are a window to the soul." "How one should not trust a writer who smiles." And that was only the beginning.

I was also fortunate to hear from the electrifying Carmen Boullousa, a leading Mexican poet, novelist and playwright. Carmen writes about feminism and gender roles within a Latin American context. She spoke and the audience listened, enthralled.

Carmen talked about her love for cooking, and how for a long time she denied herself that pleasure, for she associated cooking with female subservience. Coming from a traditional Indian family where my mum was a housewife and spent the better part of my teenage years in the kitchen, whipping up freshly cooked breakfasts, lunches and dinners for her family... I totally got it. And then she delivered this stunning one liner: "If I talk about my current project it just gets putrid." That's my most basic fear right there.

Listening to these authors was like being afforded a peek into their soul, a teensy-weensy view of what inspires them, what they obsess about; about why they write on the themes they do. And then I wondered ... Why is it that I never hear from a panel of Indie writers about their writing? About what inspired their books, about their thinking, how they feel, how they react to situations.

Yes, yes, so many of us Indies had professional careers, which shaped us before we pursued writing books seriously. So, why not talk about that previous life and how it influences how we write now. About what inspired the themes of those bestsellers?

How about discussing life and death, loving and hating, our fears and our secret obsessions? The emotions we face everyday and which we reflect in our books... Know what I mean?

I acknowledge the importance of, and indeed pursue my understanding of the every-changing Amazon algorithm, for it is important to my book sales. But I'd also rather spend a lot more of my time obsessing about the algorithm of life. It's why I write.

Laxmi Hariharan is the author of The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer.

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Winning Fans One Living Room at a Time

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I've previously written about Josh Savage a very talented singer songwriter. In addition to possessing prodigious talent, Josh has to be one of the hardest working musicians around. Not content with building an online following, Josh has quite literally taken to the streets in order to win fans.

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Josh Savage
Photo: Common Spark Media

After successful living room tours in the UK and France, Josh has undertaken an ambitious tour of the US. If you're not familiar with the concept of a living room tour, it is exactly what the name suggests. Book a date through Josh's website and he will turn up at your house and play a gig in your living room. Householders effectively become promoters, inviting friends to come and share the performance. At the end of the night, Josh hands round a hat to cover his expenses. It's a fantastic way of building a following and is a testament to the determination of a talented musician who is prepared to innovate. I caught up with Josh part way through the US tour to hear how it was going.

Josh says he got the inspiration for living room tours from SOFAR Sounds (Songs for a Room):
When I booked my first tour in 2013, I was invited to play SOFAR Oxford and it was the best gig I had ever played. 60 people crammed into a living room and not one of them made a sound, which is very rare when you're an up and coming artist these days.


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A Living Room Gig
Photo: Josh Savage

Despite successful tours in the UK and France, Josh was daunted by the prospect of touring the US.
It's my first time this side of the ocean so I had no idea what I was putting myself into. On top of that the U.S. is huge and I don't even have a car! It's too expensive to hire one so I've mainly been getting around on the Greyhound bus service or Megabus, sometimes even hitch hiking. I'll never moan about a 3 hour drive in the UK again, but it's been an amazing way to see the country.


Josh would recommend living room tours to other up-and-coming musicians.
You may be playing to less people in living rooms than live music venues but you have a very attentive audience, so technically you are playing to more people. In bars, you'll find some people are there to get drunk rather than to be there for the music. So sometimes you end up having people talking over you singing in bars which is demoralising as a performer and ruins the evening for the audience members who are actually there for the music. The added bonus to living room shows is that you're not pressured to bring an audience which you have to do with promoters these days and this can be very difficult when you're a new artist in a new city.


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Josh Savage
Photo: Josh Savage

Even though he might be playing to smaller venues, Josh often covers the costs of a living room tour and it's hard to put a price on the experience that comes from playing so many live gigs.
I do cover costs on my living room tours in the UK and France but not on this North America tour. I always wanted to come here though and I had the opportunity to play SXSW (South by Southwest). Travelling and music are my favourite things so I don't mind investing in it and if I can make it my living, that would be the dream. Every show is different and you learn something from each one. You can take it on board for the next one and this is how you get better and better. It's the best way to get your music to new people and connect with people who love your music and support you. The music industry may be crippled at the moment, but you can't kill live music.


Josh is planning another European tour in autumn. He's written a blog about his US tour experiences, which is available on his website: www.joshsavagemusic.com

If you're not familiar with Josh's music, check out his performance of Mountains In Hurricanes at St. Pancras Old Church:

Josh Savage
Mountains In Hurricanes (Live)

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EIGHT: A Collaboration Between Manchester and Wuhan for the China/UK Year of Cultural Exchange

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'EIGHT' was the bringing together of eight artists, four from Manchester, UK and four from Wuhan, China. Our collaboration was in celebration of the year of China/UK cultural exchange, 2015. So, last month, myself, fellow musician Denis Jones, and Kim May and Chris Paul Daniels (both film makers),
set off to Wuhan to work with musicians Victor Wang (alto sax) and Fen Peipei (acoustic guitar, vocals and traditional Chinese instruments), and two visual artists Zhou Gang and He Chengyun.

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(Photo by Chris Paul Daniels)

The British Council, Manchester City Council and Brighter Sound and 'HOME' (two of Manchester's most creative arts organisations), worked alongside K11 Art Village and Vox Music Hall, in Wuhan to create a series of events that were filled with the music and film that the 'EIGHT' artists would create together. We were embarking on an amazing musical and cultural experience.

On the first day we met the Chinese artists at K11, the venue we would collaborate in and eventually perform in at the end of the project. Fan Peipei performed some of his amazing Mongolian influenced throat singing for us. And Victor played some of his smooth alto sax, which for the duration of the eight days would be drifting effortlessly through the sounds and sights of the collaboration.

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(Fan Peipei and Victor Wang)

As the days progressed, the visual crew went out into Wuhan, while Victor, Peipei, Denis and I, built up five tracks based on the themes of Wuhan and Manchester. When we all came back together we constructed a kaleidoscopic display of sounds and images, incorporating Manchester's industrial past and Wuhan's booming present. For the final performance, live music would be played over the footage, which would be VJ'd by Chris.

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(The stage and the film sequence at K11)

Part way through the collaboration we broke off to go and play individual performances at Wuhan's seminal music spot, Vox. We each played a short solo set of our own material in the mist of the smoky club. Vox is a truly laid back and inviting musical space, comparable to any rock venue in the world. For my set, 'What a Day' seemed popular and had people singing along. And I had become pretty confident saying 'xièxiè' ('thanks') by that point too, so we all got along nicely.

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(Outside Vox Music Hall, Wuhan)

It was an intense eight days but somehow we also found time to visit East Lake, a vast area of water which, in March, becomes surrounded by blossoming cherry trees. We were in the heart of Wuhan, but seemed far away from its multitude of towering new apartment blocks.

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(The cherry blossoms at East Lake, Wuhan)

The final performance at K11 was so rewarding. We performed our five linked pieces, while the film overlapped and whirled on the walls behind us. We performed the whole thing twice that evening; Kim filming each performance, and John, our tech manager, recording the sounds. After eight amazing days, we came away with a wealth of imagery and sound that can often take months to produce.

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(Live at K11, Wuhan. Photo by Chris Paul Daniels)

Later, we moved on to Beijing to repeat the performance, so I got to see the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square and the Ming dynasty palace. I got into bed on the last day in China exhausted, sad, elated, motivated and feeling overwhelming lucky to be invited to participate in such an event.

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20 Circus Facts for World Circus Day

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(Photo: D McPherson)


This Saturday, 18 April, is the sixth World Circus Day. To celebrate, here are 15 fabulous facts about the sawdust circle.

1 - The word Circus dates from Roman times when arenas such as the Circus Maximus staged chariot races, gladiatorial contests and mock battles.

2 - The modern circus was invented in London by trick horse-rider Philip Astley, who opened his Amphitheatre of Equestrian Arts in London, in 1768.

3 - Astley never called his show a circus. The word was coined by writer and actor Charles Dibdin who founded the competing Royal Circus with Astley's equestrian rival Charles Hughes.

4 - A standard circus ring remains 42-feet in diameter, the size originally established by Astley.

5 - Clowns are nicknamed Joeys after 19th century pantomime star Joseph Grimaldi.

6 - Leotards are named after the first star of the flying trapeze, Jules Leotard.

7 - The word jumbo, meaning large, entered the English language because of Jumbo, an 11-foot-tall elephant that the American showman PT Barnum bought from London Zoo.

8 - The traditional circus theme music is called Entrance of the Gladiators and was composed by Julius Fucik in 1897.

9 - Charlie Cairoli was the first clown to appear on This Is Your Life.

10 - Chinese acrobats first appeared in European circuses in 1866.

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(Photo: D McPherson)


11 - Cirque du Soleil was created as part of the 1984 celebrations to mark the 450th anniversary of Jacques Cartier's discovery of Canada.

12 - Enrico Rastelli (1896 - 1931) is considered greatest juggler of all time, being able to juggle ten balls at once.

13 - The first American circus was founded by John Bill Ricketts in Philadelphia on April 3, 1793.

14 - A 'josser' is an outsider who joins the circus.

15 - According to circus superstition, it's unlucky to wear green in the ring.

16 - Foot-juggling with a person is known as a Risley act after the 19th century American pioneer of the style Richard Risley Carlisle.

17 - The mischievous clown in a double act is called the 'auguste' and the straight man is the 'whiteface.'

18 - The word clown is believed to come from the Icelandic word klunni, meaning a clumsy person.

19 - The first elephant to appear in a British circus performed at Covent Garden in 1810.

20 - Joshua Purdy Brown staged the first circus in a tent or big top in America in 1825. Before that, circuses were performed in buildings or the open air.


This post originally appeared on the author's blog, www.circusmania.blogspot.co.uk

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Romanians Are Coming... At the London Book Fair

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Olympia Exhibition Centre, 14-16 April 2015: more than 25,000 publishers, booksellers, literary agents, librarians, media and industry suppliers from over 120 countries came to London to attend an event considered to be "a Mecca for European publishers, booksellers, rights agents and media trend spotters".

For those claiming "to limit the immigration to the UK to 50,000 per annum, including those from the EU", such a wave of highly skilled foreigners on the Thames' shores might be scary and eventually a strong argument to be used in the ongoing electoral campaign. But for book lovers and not only, the London Book Fair 2015 (LBF) is just more proof that London is more than the capital city of a great country, it is also the meeting point of the world cultures in every possible way.

The initials LBF made their first appearance 40 years ago and since then the London Book Fair has grown in size and importance, being now considered as second only to the Frankfurt Book Fair, with over 1700 international exhibitors this year. Among them, 14 Romanian publishing houses with more than 350 book titles. Only 25 countries have national pavilions and Romania is one of them.

Romania has been a constant presence at the London Book Fair since 2007 and I pay my tribute of admiration to so many writers, publishers, translators and literary promoters who, along these eight years, have showcased the excellence of Romanian literature and established lasting relations between Romania and the UK. This time, our participation at the LBF evokes the virtue of literature as a catalyst of great encounters and revelations. It brings together writers and academics who contributed to create enduring cultural links between the two countries. Our programme revolves around two towering cultural personalities, one Romanian - Ana Blandiana, the other British - Sir Patrick Leigh Fermor (1915-2011). Sir Patrick was a war hero and the most acclaimed travel writer in Britain for decades. He testifies in hundreds of splendid pages the joy of encountering people and landscapes of Romania.

Ana Blandiana is one of the most important post war Romanian authors and a renowned civic rights campaigner. Banned in the harsh times of communism, her verses known by heart by Romanians were a refuge for a truth that could not be acknowledged. After the 1989 Revolution, she became a leader of the civic movement and concentrated most of her energy to the conservation of the national memory: the tragedies, the repression, but also the many forms of resistance, from armed resistance (I come myself from a region where the anti-communist partisans fought in the mountains until the beginning of the sixties), to civic heroism, thus contributing to educating generations of young Romanians about a time of sufferance and redemption.

Books encompass in their covers talent, truth and passion. The ultimate message we get by browsing through the selves heavy with books is that the sense of writing and reading has not disappeared. This is very important because the power of literature is to define both our personal and collective identities. There are few arts that can provide a better access to a nation identity than literature. That is why we have dedicated our programme at the LBF 2015 to the power of the written culture to transcend boundaries and to become the privileged place of great encounters and discoveries. It is probably not by chance that this happens in London.
In a fabulous evening event with poets Fleur Adcock and Vidyan Ravinthiran, together with translators Viorica Patea and Paul Scott Derrick, Ana Blandiana recalled that: "During the communist time, the only choice we had was between rebelling and obeying, because the indifference was worse". She added: "After 1989, the freedom of speech has diminished the importance of words".

Living in Britain for a period when in many occasions Romanians were so unfairly considered by part of the media and by some politicians as being unwanted "immigrants" and eventually responsible for almost everything that goes wrong in this country, I may not entirely agree with Ana Blandiana's last sentence about the importance of words, because I know that defamatory words can kill, maybe not lives but certainly people's dignity.

Romania's presence at the London Book Fair has been an itinerary through our values, feelings, dreams, disappointments, grievances, triumphs. It was also a reassuring reminder that we have many friends in Great Britain.

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Friday Night Feasting

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We know what it's like - you clock in after a long week at work and all you want to do is pick up the phone, dial your local curry-chinese-pizza-thai-turkish takeaway and indulge in some naughty nibbles. RESIST! You can cook incredible dishes for a fraction of the price, triple the flavour and all in the time you're left waiting for the doorbell to ding.

The wonderful Dumpling Sisters join Food Tube to share their mouth-wateringly good chicken fried noodle recipe. Succulent chicken pieces cooked in a soy sauce, ginger and garlic gravy and stir fried with fresh crunchy vegetables and soft egg noodles. Delicious!



Poo's back and this time she's cooking classic Pad Thai. Fresh juicy prawns stir fried with tofu, crunchy veg and egg fried rice noodles. Serve with a wedge of lime, chilli powder and crushed peanuts - better than any takeaway and cheaper!



Free-runner extraordinaire Tim Shieff shares his favourite curry recipe based on traditional Indian spices, whole roasted butternut squash, chickpeas and spinach served on a bed of turmeric infused rice. If you've never tried a vegan curry before this is the one to make.



The lovely Maunika Gowardhan, an Indian chef and food writer, is over in the Drinks Tube corner to make that wonderfully creamy Indian drink - the lassi. The perfect accompaniment to a spicy curry, Maunika's mango and saffron lassi uses fresh mango, tinned mango pulp, crushed cardamom seeds, yoghurt, milk and a dash of saffron-infused water. Garnish with some crushed pistachio and a colourful straw!



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Top 5 Showbiz Stories Of The Week: From James Corden's ‘Basic Instinct' To Susanna Reid And Piers Morgan (PICS, VIDEO)

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It’s been yet another busy week in showbiz, starting Coachella and ending with a rather spirited attack on hunting from Ricky Gervais - but what are the stories and videos in between that have kept us entertained this week?

1. Rachel Riley’s ‘Countdown’ Mishap

It’s not big or clever, but a rude word on ‘Countdown’ never fails to have us in stitches. Rachel and her team (just about) managed to stifle their giggles, proving that you’re never too clever to laugh at a good old-fashioned rude joke.

See what word came up on the show here.

2. Sue Perkins’ Girlfriend Anna Richardson Helped Restore Our Faith In Humanity

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Anna and Sue, attending an event with Tracey-Ann Oberman in 2014


We were more than a little disappointed when ‘Bake Off’ star Sue received vile tweets, over rumours that she could be taking over on ‘Top Gear’.

The star decided to leave the social-networking site, but what happened next restored our faith in kindness.

Find out what Anna did to put a smile back on Sue’s face by clicking here.

3. James Corden Did ‘Basic Instinct’

There are no words. Seriously. Just watch the video below, then read why he did it here.



4. Susanna Reid Showed Everyone How To Deal With Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan pitched up in our living rooms this week, well, he was on the ‘Good Morning Britain’ sofa anyway. While we were free to change channel - though of course Piers, if you’re reading this, we definitely stayed tune - Susanna Reid wasn’t given a remote that could turn the presenter off.

How did she keep him under control? Find out here.

5. The Trailer To End All Trailers Was Released

Haven’t seen the ‘Star Wars’ trailer yet? Where have you been?! Panic not, because we’ve got it - and have been watching it on repeat for hours solid.

Is it December yet?

Oh, and there was also the small matter of a Glastonbury announcement - which came with a big ol' gap. Who could fill it? Here are the options...



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Zayn Malik Debuts Shaved Head And Thanks Former One Direction Bandmates In Acceptance Speech At The Asian Awards (PICS)

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Zayn Malik made his first public appearance since leaving One Direction, at the Asian Awards on Friday night, and debuted a shock new look in the process.

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The former 1D singer hit the red carpet at the event, sporting a newly-shaved head, which - considering he’s best known for his coiffed locks - we reckon his fans are going to either love or hate.

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Zayn Malik looking dapper in a suit at the Asian Awards


His fiancée, Perrie Edwards, was not in attendance, but he did pose for photographers on his way into the ceremony with his mum, Trisha Malik, who he’d brought along for the evening.

During the ceremony, he also won the Asian Award for Outstanding Contribution To Music, which was presented to him by producer Naughty Boy, who it’s thought that Zayn has been working with on his first solo material.

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Zayn and his mum, Trisha


In his acceptance speech, Zayn thanked his former bandmates, who he described as “four of the best guys I’ve ever met”, claiming his experiences as a member of the group would “stay with me for the rest of my life.”

Last month, after five years with One Direction, Zayn announced that he was leaving the world-famous band so that he could try and live like a “normal 22-year-old”, breaking millions of hearts in the process.

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Zayn poses with Naughty Boy after scooping his award


The remaining members of the group have insisted that they’ll carry on as a four-piece, and will be kicking off the UK leg of their ‘On The Road Again’ tour in Cardiff on 5 June.

They're expected to release their first album as a four-piece later this year, while it's been reported that Zayn will be launching a solo career, with a bit of help from 1D's mentor, music mogul Simon Cowell.



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'Britain's Got Talent': Our Best And Worst Acts From This Week's Auditions (PICS)

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Thought a “talking dog”, a roller-skating gymnastic act and an actual chicken walking an obstacle course were going to be impossible to top? Think again, people - this is ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ we’re talking about, after all!

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Here are the five acts you need to be looking out for in this week’s episode, which promises to be another weird and wonderful night for ‘BGT’ fans…

1. Acqua Jane and Delores

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There’s always a risk when people perform their own original material at auditions, but clearly Acqua Jane and Delores felt like they were up to the challenge, taking to the stage to perform their track ‘You Defrost My Heart At A Million Degrees’.

True, it isn’t quite ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ or ‘Imagine’, but will the judges be won over by the charming (yeah, let’s go with charming…) song anyway?

2. Boyband

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Dance acts are ten-a-penny on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, with past winners George Sampson and Diversity setting the bar really high when it comes to dancers hitting the ‘BGT’ stage.

That’s why it’s always great when an act can make you forget about previous dancers from years gone by, and bring something fresh to the show with their audition. Will Simon Cowell agree with us, though, or will this be one dance act too many for the panel?

3. Becky O’Brien

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Well it wouldn’t be a Saturday night if we weren’t crying our way into an ad break courtesy of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, would it?

This week’s tear-jerking moment comes from Becky O’Brien, who takes to the stage at London’s Dominion theatre to sing her take on a song we all know and love, ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’.

4. Jeffrey Drayton

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If there’s anything more hilarious than watching a grown man on roller-skates stuffing a puppet into a cannon, then chucking an entire deck of cards with it as it flies through the air, we don’t know what it is.

Unfortunately for Jeffrey, his future on the show could be in jeopardy after the magic trick he had planned takes a turn for the worse...

5. Henry Gallagher

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This miniature Justin Bieber is just 12 years old, but confidently hits the ‘BGT’ stage with a song he’s written about a girl at his school who didn’t notice him.

Will the song win over the girl - and, more importantly, will it be enough to win over the tough ‘BGT’ judges?

Find out how these acts get on in Saturday night’s ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, at 8pm on ITV.



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Jeremy Clarkson Thanks Supporters In 'Heartfelt' Message, Says He'll Miss 'Top Gear' 'More Than He Will Be Missed'

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Jeremy Clarkson has spoken out about being sacked from ‘Top Gear, admitting that he’s going to miss his time on the BBC series.

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Last month, it was confirmed that the controversial TV personality would not be returning to present ‘Top Gear’, after he got into an altercation with a producer, which an investigation later discovered consisted of both verbal abuse and a 30-second physical attack.

After over a decade on ‘Top Gear’, Jeremy has now spoken about his feelings for the show in his latest column for The Sun, also thanking his supporters amid his latest scandal.

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Jeremy Clarkson


He writes: “Heartfelt thanks to all those who have written to say how much they will miss me on ‘Top Gear’.

“It’s not as much, however, as I’ll miss being there.”


Jeremy’s fans have been staunch in their support over the past few weeks, most notably when they stormed the BBC offices in a tank as part of the ‘Bring Back Clarkson’ campaign.

However, it hasn’t all been good news, after Oisin Tymon, the producer involved in his “fracas”, was bombarded with abuse on Twitter following the announcement that Jeremy wouldn’t be returning to ‘Top Gear’.

It’s not yet known who’ll be taking over his role on the show, although Philip Glenister was recently reported to be among the producers’ favourites to take over the job.



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Dermot O'Leary For 'Strictly Come Dancing'? Craig Revel-Horwood Would 'Love' To See Former 'X Factor' Host On Next Series

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For the first time in eight years, Dermot O’Leary can do whatever he likes with his Saturday evenings, now he’s no longer going to be hosting ‘The X Factor’.

He could start attending a Saturday night book club. He can finally go on a cinema date on a weekend. Or, of course, he could finally become a contestant on rival show ‘Strictly Come Dancing’.

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Craig Revel-Horwood, who has been a judge on the BBC dancing show since its launch in 2004, has said in an interview that he would love to see Dermot shimmy on over to the dance-floor to try and lift the coveted Glitter-ball trophy.

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Dermot O'Leary


Speaking to The Mirror, he reveals: “I know Dermot has been part of ‘X Factor’ for ages and of course we’ve had people on Strictly that have come through, like Caroline [Flack] for instance.

“Now we can get Dermot, I’d love to see him dance on ‘Strictly’. I’ve heard that he might be quite good actually.”


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Craig Revel Horwood


Former ‘Xtra Factor’ presenter Caroline Flack made the switch to ‘Strictly’ last year, and ended up being crowned the winner of the show.

Earlier this week, after much speculation, it was confirmed that she would be taking over from Dermot on the show, co-presenting with Olly Murs, who she used to host alongside on the talent show’s ITV2 spin-off.

Although Dermot's dancing on 'The X Factor' was never exactly going to win him 'tens across the board' from the 'Strictly' judges, he did recently complete a dance-a-thon for Comic Relief, raising a whopping £643,336 for the charity in the process.

He isn’t the only former ‘X Factor’ star to have been linked with a stint on ‘Strictly’, though, with past winners Sam Bailey and Joe McElderry both expressing an interest in strutting their stuff on the ‘Strictly’ dance floor in recent interviews.



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Madonna Kisses Drake, Sexual Harassment At Music Festivals And The Return Of Katie Hopkins: Our Five Biggest Blogs Of The Week

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It’s been yet another eventful week in the world of showbiz, entertainment and celebrity, with the biggest news stories of the week offering plenty of scope for discussion and debate.

Luckily, here at HuffPost UK there have been some interesting points raised by our bloggers, which provoke discussion and can help offer a different take on things you might not have had an opinion before.

Here are five of the biggest entertainment blogs of the week...





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Suge Knight Video Evidence Released In Rap Music Mogul's Murder Case

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Video of Marion "Suge" Knight crash into two men in car and other key evidence in the former rap music mogul's murder case has been released by a Los Angeles court.

Superior Court Judge Ronald Coen reviewed the items before determining this week that Knight should stand trial.

Among the evidence made public was a recording of an hourlong interview with the man who survived being struck by Knight's car, and photos of the Death Row Records co-founder after his arrest.

The video of Knight running over the two men in late January was shot by a surveillance camera monitoring the drive-through at a burger stand. It likely will be used by both sides during Knight's trial.

Coen ruled Thursday that there was enough evidence for Knight, 49, to stand trial on charges that he killed Terry Carter and attempted to kill Cle "Bone" Sloan during the parking lot confrontation.

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This evidence photo by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office, released by Los Angeles Superior Court, is one of a series of photos showing Marion "Suge" Knight after his arrest

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Knight has pleaded not guilty. His lawyer has said Knight was fleeing an ambush by Sloan and others when he hit the men outside a Compton burger stand.

The nine-minute video played by a prosecutor in court shows Knight's pickup truck pulling up to the driveway of the burger stand and Sloan approaching the driver's side window.

A struggle ensues, and Sloan told detectives he repeatedly punched Knight in response to insults by the former rap mogul. Knight's pickup is seen backing up, throwing Sloan to the ground before the truck drives over his legs and then plows over Carter.

The entire incident took approximately 30 seconds. The video continues until a paramedic arrives.

SEE ALSO
Suge Knight Arrested For Murder Following Fatal Hit And Run, Bail Set At $2 Million

Suge Knight Hospitalised: Death Row Records Founder ‘Rushed To Hospital With Potentially Fatal Blood Clot'


Knight's attorney, Matt Fletcher, has said the footage appears to show an associate of Sloan's taking a gun off of him after he is run over, and jurors likely will be shown an enhanced version of the video.

Knight turned himself in to authorities the morning after the incident. Detectives took pictures of him to try to show he had no serious injuries from the attack.

Sloan's interview with detectives also will be crucial to the case since he is unlikely to repeat the lucid account of the event that he gave investigators. In court Monday, Sloan repeatedly said he didn't remember what happened and refused to identify Knight as the person who injured him, saying he didn't want to be a "snitch."

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'Britain's Got Talent': Magician Jamie Raven Wows Amanda Holden With Card Trick (VIDEO)

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Let’s be honest, the magicians on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ aren’t always up to scratch.

Foreach one who makes Simon Cowell levitate or pulls a rabbit out of David Walliams’ man-bag, there’ll be someone struggling to remember where they’ve put the deck of cards they’re supposed to be presenting Amanda Holden with.

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That said, we’re actually still trying to work out exactly how Jamie Raven - who we met on Saturday night’s edition of ‘BGT’ - managed to pull off the trick that won him four yeses from the judges.

Jamie’s act saw him following on from the… erm… less-than-stellar Jeffrey Drayton’s own magic act, which saw him catapulting a puppet out of a cannon.

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Just...wow


Despite his trick not quite going to plan, Jeffrey still made it through to the next round of the competition with three yeses from the judges - though Jamie’s act practically blew him out of the water completely (even though, sadly, it didn’t involve a puppet).

Jamie’s card trick - which ended in him turning the entire deck into a flip-book, revealing which card Amanda had chosen at the beginning of the trick - left the whole judging panel (and us!) stunned.

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How DID he do that?


All four judges gave Jamie a standing ovation, with a perplexed Simon even saying: “I know this sounds crazy, but I now actually believe in magic. There is no explanation for that.”

“Somebody once said to me… there are some people who do tricks, and there are a few people who actually can do magic. And I think we just saw that.”

Watch his audition for yourself below:



Other acts to impress the judges included Boyband, the young dancing troupe who became the second act to receive the ‘golden buzzer’, after Ant and Dec decided to give them a free ticket to the live shows.

This follows on from singer Calum Scott, whose rendition of Robyn’s ‘Dancing On My Own’ impressed Simon Cowell last week.

‘Britain’s Got Talent’ continues next Saturday on ITV.



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'Britain's Got Talent': Boyband Receive Golden Buzzer From Ant And Dec For 'Uptown Funk' Audition (VIDEO)

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Ant and Dec finally got to have their say in ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ on Saturday night, choosing the imaginatively-named Boyband to be their golden buzzer act.

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Although as presenters the Geordie duo rarely get to voice their opinions on which acts should go through, thanks to the golden buzzer twist, they’re allowed to pick one act who they think should receive a fast pass to the show’s live semi-finals.

They chose Boyband, who received a standing ovation from all four judges after they performed their energetic and gymnastic dance routine to Mark Ronson’s chart-topping single ‘Uptown Funk’.

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Boyband


When the group first took to the stage, Simon Cowell seemed unimpressed, asking if that was honestly the name they’d picked for their act, and adding: “Is this serious? Honestly?”

However, after showing off their moves, they managed to impress everyone in the theatre with their audition - especially Ant and Dec who branded them “amazing” before running out into the crowd to hit the golden buzzer.

David Walliams branded the performance “flawless”, with Simon reiterating that, saying: “I’ve sat in this chair for a long time and I think with you I’m seeing the future.”

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Henry Gallagher performs his self-written track


They weren’t the only ones to impress the judges, though.

Magician Jamie Raven also received a standing ovation for his card track, earning himself a spot in the next stage of the competition, while 12-year-old Henry Gallagher almost brought a tear to our eye with his self-penned song about a girl at his school.

Check out all the photos from Saturday’s show below...



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Brian May Promises Most Intimate Yet Collection Of Queen Photographs In 3D, Taken On His Cameras Over 40 Years

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Brian May will be unveiling the most personal pictures yet of his Queen bandmates - including never-before-seen shots of the much-missed Freddie Mercury - with a collection of photos taken with his own 3-D cameras.

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Brian announced the release of 'Queen in 3-D' at this week's London Book Fair, fittingly at a a 3-D press conference, and he tells HuffPostUK:

"The book offers a personal view of Queen from the inside, as they're all taken on my stereo camera - some shot by me and others friends who I lent the camera to."

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Brian May's new book will provide "an inside view of Queen"


All the images in the book will be fresh, as they were taken on Brian's stereo cameras, which he has carried with him everywhere for the last four decades of recording, touring and meeting other famous faces along the way. Brian tells us, "There are some great photos of us on stage in the glory days and also a lot offstage in hotels, cars and planes.

"Fans will get an inside view of Queen on the road, but also in astounding 3-D. It's such a different experience - truly immersive."

The book is set to be published next year, probably before audiences will get to see the much-discussed Queen biopic film, which has been recently been the subject of more speculation since the band's manager Jim Beach made a comment that Sacha Baron Cohen had been re-engaged to write, produce, direct and star in the film. Brian wrote on his blog that it had been a joke, but he feared "some folks might have taken it seriously!"

'Queen in 3-D' will be published by The London Stereoscopic Company in 2016.



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Jeremy Clarkson Reveals Cancer Scare Two Days Before 'Fracas' That Led To Him Losing His 'Top Gear' Job

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Jeremy Clarkson has revealed that the altercation that led to him being sacked from his presenting job on ‘Top Gear’ came just two days after being warned by a doctor he may have cancer.

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The controversial TV personality was warned by a doctor that a lump on his tongue “was probably cancer”, but refused to have any kind of immediate treatment because he was too busy on the show.

Writing in the Sunday Times, he admits: "Two days before the 'fracas' I'd been told, sternly, by my doctor that a lump on my tongue was probably cancer and that I must get it checked out immediately.

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Jeremy Clarkson


"But I couldn't do that. We were in the middle of a Top Gear series. And Top Gear always came first."

The “fracas” refers to is the on-set incident he had with one of the show’s producers, Oisin Tymon, which an investigation later discovered involved verbal abuse as well as a 30-second physical attack.

He goes on to write: “That was the most stressful day I ever had in 27 years at the BBC.

“It was beyond-belief stressful, everything was going wrong. But everybody has stressful days, and they manage to cope better than I did.”


Jeremy has since been given the all-clear by doctors, and is now adamant that he will return to presenting in some form.

He insists: “I loved [‘Top Gear’] like my own child… I felt sick because after I'd lost my home and my mother, I'd thrown myself even more vigorously into my job and now, idiotically, I'd managed to lose that too.

"I have lost my baby but I shall recreate another. I don’t know who the other parent will be or what the baby will be like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photo albums.”


Last week, it was reported that Jeremy would be making his return to the BBC just weeks after his most recent scandal to guest host an episode of ‘Have I Got News For You’, though it was later confirmed that he had pulled out of the presenting job.



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